Faulty Advice Friday | BORiNGhorsePARADE

Welcome to Faulty Advice Friday! This is the place to get your toughest questions answered.


Lydia,

What’s a good hobby to get into?

BORiNGhorsePARADE, Oklahoma

Hey there BORiNGhorsePARADE!

First of all… What the hell is a boring horse parade, and where have you seen such a thing? Is it like a horse race where they’re all trapped in a k-hole, trying to hide from a T-Rex? Do tell. Do, tell.

Although, I kinda feel like that actually might not be boring to watch…

Anyways, let’s get to it: a hobby by definition is something you do in your free time for pleasure. Honestly, this question is a little on the subjective side, that being said, I’ll do my best.

Sometimes hobbies are most fun when done in groups. A lot of people find their missing pieces when they come together with people who enjoy the same things they do. If that sounds like you, perhaps you would prefer chanting a passive aggressive mantra while dancing naked around a fire, sacrificing small children and selling your soul to they who must not be named. Finding the right commune for you might be a bit of a struggle, but you always know once you find your shepard. Your people are waiting my friend, consider looking into former pop punk frontmen and going from there. Maybe watch a few documentaries first though…

Group activities aren’t for everyone though, which is completely understandable. If you’re more of an independent type of pastime, maybe something that won’t cost much and welcomes any skill level, give parkour a try.

No need to work your way up to build strength, stamina, agility, or even balance: go all in. You know what they say: go big or go home! Take a look around, find the tallest building in your area and head to the roof.

Since this is probably about to be the most wickedly awesome thing you’ve ever done, invite everyone you know to watch AND stream it live through various social media platforms, of course.

Your adrenaline will go into overdrive, palms might be a tad sweaty, but don’t worry—unless you just had some of your mom’s spaghetti… No, no, still no need to worry. This, this is your moment. Wipe those hands off on your skinny jeans and take a deep relaxing breath.

It’s so, SO, important that you get a running start. Better to back up as far as you can, then sprint to the end of the roof. Just before you run off the edge, kick off and spring across the gap toward the roof of the building next door. I’m sure you’ve seen videos on the internet, cartoons, movies; the absolute rule here, is don’t look down. You’ll stay in the air as long as you don’t look down.

Whatever you decide to do; be it communal activities with new friends who dress alike and sing songs about the end of days, or learning why man was never meant to fly—do it with a smile.

Hope you find your thing, BORiNGhorsePARADE! 😍


Advice given in this post should not be followed and is purely for comedic value.
Lydia Prime shall is not responsible for any person(s) who choose to do so and/or any damages incurred.
© Copyright Lydia Prime. All Rights Reserved.

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